I knew this day would come. Leo is an extremely intense child. Everyone always asks me if it’s “hard” to homeschool him precisely because he’s so challenging. And, honestly, Schizz and I encounter multiple daily challenges with this little fellow. It’s just that, when I compare this year to last year, everything is lighter. On a day-to-day basis, things are easier around here. But today? Today was not a good day.
Remember how I told you guys that it was tough to get back into the homeschool swing of things after the holiday break? That it was tough but it also felt good to have our routine back? Yeah well, consider those words another cyber jinx because it has been nothing but dragging heels, whining, tears, and drama since then. And those who know Leo in real life know that his whining and drama and dragging of heels can be epic.
Folks, I promised I’d share it all - the good, the bad, and the ugly- when I started this blog. So here goes nothing. I’m not proud of it, but today I threatened to send him back. Yup, I did. I told him that I could pick up the phone, call the superintendent, and he could hop on that big yellow bus in the morning. In my frustration, I almost picked up the phone to fake call the superintendent but, thankfully, I’ve learned from past parental fibbers and I resisted the desperate impulse.
Like I said, I’m not proud.
Today has been the worst day of our homeschooling journey thus far. There was no real incident, no true antecedent, nothing noteworthy to report- just a day filled with tears and opposition and whining and frustration. I knew there would be days like today and, frankly, I’m surprised there haven’t been more of them. I’m certain there will be worse days than today, too. Much like motherhood… am I right, homeschoolers?
Around two o’clock this afternoon, I threw in the towel. I sent the little guy upstairs with a book and told him to cuddle with Flap. Then I made a bonus cup of coffee, because I felt it was deserved after all the drama. Every mom must take care of herself on rough days such as this one! And then I vented to my village, and of course my village understood. Feeling understood eased my frustration, and then I read for a bit. Reading calms this mama as much as it calms her little guy.
After a bit, the guilt set in. It always does, doesn’t it? What could I have done differently? What should I have said? What should I do next time? Was this day a waste? Was he sad, upstairs in his room? I was no longer angry and frustrated. I just wanted to work it all out. The fact of the matter is, he might drive me crazy a lot of the time, but he’s an amazing little person. I might have wished for a break from his intensity today but I never wanted to send him on that big yellow bus. I know he’d be miserable in that first grade classroom. I love having him here, learning beside him and from him.
I climbed the stairs to find him on his bed with the dazed and disheveled look of a child who has surprised himself with a nap. He looked at me, while rubbing his sleepy eyes with one hand and flattening his unkept hair with the other, and he smiled.
“Do you feel better, buddy?” I asked.
“Yeah. I was tired I think,” he replied.
I sat beside him on his tornado-boy bed, with books and crayons and origami scattered all over it. I always wonder how he can sleep like this, but I love that he can. I put my arm around him and he leaned his weight against me. I apologized for how our day had played out and he said he was sorry, too. Folks, that never happens and I honestly had tears.
“I think this day could be in the Guinness Book of World Records for worst homeschool day ever. What do you think, bud?” This made him laugh. He agreed with me, and then we had a fantastic conversation about what had gone wrong and what we could do differently tomorrow.
“Mum?” he said. “I don’t want to go to school tomorrow. I feel badly for those kids. They leave at eight and they don’t get home until four. When do they have fun?”
I kissed the top of his messy little noggin and said, “I have an idea. Let’s write down the date for today. It will be our worst homeschool day ever, and we’ll try to keep it that way. Like a contest.”
“YEAH!” he gushed, and then he asked to play a game with me. And so we did. In fact, we played three.
This rotten day went out on a sweet note, thank goodness.
What about you guys? What do you do on bad days? Do you call it quits? Do you mix it up? Do you have any tricks or strategies to share with this rookie homeschooler? Please share here! I know we’re in for many more days like this one!
***
Some days are like that. Even in Australia.
~ Judith Viorst, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible,
No Good, Very Bad Day
***
When I’m having a rough day, I sometimes engage in pin-therapy. Here are oodles of homeschoolin’ pins for your enjoyment, folks!
Follow Cait Fitz @ My Little Poppies’s board Homeschool on Pinterest.
Caitlin Fitzpatrick Curley
Cait co-hosts The Homeschool Sisters Podcast and is co-founder of Raising Poppies, a community for parents of gifted and twice-exceptional children. Cait is also founder of the Family Book Club at My Little Poppies, a fantastic community of book-loving parents and the Gameschool Community at My Little Poppies, a vibrant community of gameschoolers.
Cait is a contributing writer for Simple Homeschool and GeekMom. Her work has also appeared on The Huffington Post, The Mighty, and Scary Mommy. You can find her on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, Instagram
and G+.
Latest posts by Caitlin Fitzpatrick Curley (see all)
- Simple Summer Learning Ideas: A Series - June 15, 2017
- Summer Survival for Moms: Tips and Tricks - June 12, 2017
- Create Your Own Fidget Factory - June 5, 2017
Ha! I took it a step further and put my then 2nd grader in the car and drove him back to his old school while he sobbed the entire way. I wondered what the heck I was going to do when I actually got on the school grounds. Luckily, he caved before my bluff was called and I never had to do that again. But, like you, I was not proud, just desperate! Loved this post!
Desperate times, right? I’m glad others can relate. It makes me feel not quite as terribly, although I’m still not proud. Thanks for sharing your story and for reading!
I did this Monday! It’s going around. Tonight she was insolent to me in front of my husband-who rarely sees it-who was appalled and laid down the law. I think it’s coming back from the “break” (which I avoided until this winter) and getting back into the routine.
My husband always says he can tell a day has been particularly horrendous when our eldest professes his love for me at bedtime. It’s a guilt-related gush, I’m sure. Here’s to better days ahead (I hope!).
We’ve all been there! Those are the days where I’ve learned to do exactly what you ended up doing - send them off to do something they love. They’re not going to learn anything while they’re in a resistant mood anyway, and it just makes everyone miserable!
Keep your head up!
Thank you for that, Angela! It’s helpful to know that others feel this way too. I’m going to have to get a thicker skin 🙂 Thanks for reading!
Oh mama. There was one incident I remember clearly where I had HAD IT and actually started to dial the phone number of charter school to see if there was any way we could switch from homeschool to their on campus program. It was an ugly day.
Since then, I’ve threatened to send my daughter back to school so many times that it’s such a hollow, empty threat that she knows Mommy’s bluffing. (Still, the idea of NOT being able to study her beloved science the way we do keeps her from ever wanting to go into the classroom.) It’s hard, particularly with gifted, intense children. (And let’s face it, gifted, intense kids likely got it from somewhere. I know mine did.)
I’m so happy to hear of other folks’ ugly days. We’re all muddling through together 🙂 Thankfully, the good days far outweigh the bad. I love the science draw- that’s fantastic 🙂
Everyone has bad days. The best part of homeschooling is that you can just throw in the towel, cuddle each other and watch a movie. Or take a nap. 🙂 Now that your Bad-Day-o-Meter is calibrated, you’ll be able to figure it out sooner next time. 😀
I love the Bad-Day-o-Meter. I might adopt that 🙂
Ha! Time-outs with a book for both of us works as well. I love that you recorded the date - it’s just brilliant to bring ridiculous humour into your make-up. That works for us too though even after 4-odd years, there are days when I occasionally make empty threats too and sometimes can’t muster the humour (even here in Australia 😉 ). We have many more intensely good days than I think we would have with the school alternative and I hope you will too.
Humor is so important, especially while homeschooling these kids 🙂 Thank you for reading, Lorraine! Hope you have no terrible, horrible, no good very bad days down there in Australia 😉
I can very much relate to this. I have had those days and felt awful. One can only learn from them. I have tried calling my son’s bluff, too. Sometimes (and I mean sometimes) it works, but most of the time he likes to one up me or even help with punishment. For instance, I tell him I am going to take his Legos away. He then suggest that would be okay and that for two days seems fine. What? What kid does that? lol Or, he tells me which toys I may take away and which ones I can not. Or, he has one of those tantrums and is so fixated on the incident on hand that his brain is on a feedback loop. At this point, nothing will work and I have to let him calm down, sleep or read. This is where I also give myself a huge time out. Yep, I like my time outs. 😉
What kid does that? Um, my kid! 🙂 I actually need to write a post about how much our world changed when Leo started reading. He was so difficult before. He’s still challenging, but reading changed the game. It calms him.
I LOVE time outs. That’s why I insist on quiet time daily 🙂
Oh my. Sounds like your little boy finished his own assignment quite well. Sounds like you have a well rounded and very mature little boy there. Just chalk it up to a bad day and play another game!! Good going mom. Loved this story
Thanks, Tammy! 🙂
All parents have days like that. You did the right thing — each went to their own ‘corner’ to regroup so to speak.
Thanks, Michelle!
I am visiting from the Hip Homeschool Hop. I have threatened to send my kids back numerous times. It is easy to say that and even feel like you want to send them back in the middle of a particularly stressful day. I usually just remind myself why I chose to homechool in the first place and how much better off things are this way for everyone involved.
Welcome, Stephanie! Since that day, whenever we hit a rough patch I picture him in the first grade classroom they wanted to place him in. That makes me feel instantly better 🙂
Just seeing the title of this made me laugh out loud. Love it! I have definitely done the same.
But I love your idea of marking it as the worst homeschool day ever. No way to go but up, right?
Thanks, Lindsey!! 🙂
Oh my gosh, yes! Those days happen! In the midst of it happening is when I question my sanity, my ability to teach, and my ability to mother! After a few tears and a pep talk from my hubby I’m back to rights and ready to move through it 🙂
At least they are infrequent!! 🙂
On those days, I say forget it and we all pack up and go somewhere. We live 45 minutes from the nearest “big” city, so that 45 minutes is a buffer. We usually all get out of the car a lot happier than when we got in. 🙂 And we usually end up at Target. And I usually buy something like cookies…
This is reminding me of If You Give a Moose a Muffin 🙂
Yes, we have had days like this!! Thankfully not often, but still…! It is good to know we aren’t the only ones. I felt like the worst homeschool mom ever when I threatened to send my son back to public school. He wound up crying & I felt terrible. Needless to say, I never sent him back. We have been homeschooling for 6 years & counting. We have had a few days like that & I am sure there will be more. I just remind myself that it is worth it. No one can have good days all the time. And given the struggles my ASD son had while attending public school, the occasional bad day we have is honestly nothing by comparison. I guess what we should do when we hit a day like that is just take an impromptu day off to relax & re-focus!
Taking a day off to relax and refocus sounds like a perfect go-to plan!
I read this post and the comments on the really awful days. Thanks for being so honest, fellow poppy moms!
So glad it helps!! <3