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Family Kindness Project:

(Have You Filled a Bucket Today?)

Have You Filled a Bucket Today?

Our family is obsessed with a book called, Have You Filled a Bucket Today: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids by Carol McCloud. So obsessed, in fact, that I’ve posted about the book before. Several years ago, we discovered this gem of a book in the free book section of our town dump. We get heaps of books via our town dump, folks, and we refer to the true gems as Instant Dump Classics. Have You Filled a Bucket Today is- hands down- our best dump find to date. I am in no way exaggerating when I tell you that this book changed the way that we parent.

In my world, kindness trumps all, and so we have always valued kind acts over here. Before Have You Filled a Bucket Today?, we would talk about kindness, being kind, and using kind words. After this book, our language changed. In this award-winning book, McCloud provides a metaphor for kindness that children will grasp immediately. The book explains that all people carry with them an invisible bucket and that we have the choice to be bucket fillers (those people that make other feel good with their kindness), or bucket dippers (those individuals who make others feel cruddy). My children loved the symbolism and grasped the concept quickly. I saw an almost instant change in my children’s behavior. Now, really, how often can you say that happens?

I love this book so much that I included it as part of our Mindful Month of books at our {Virtual} Family Book Club, and just last week we created a family kindness project based on the book! I’m excited to share it with you today because it is a simple DIY that has a lasting, positive impact on family dynamics.

Family Kindness Project: Kindness Buckets

Here’s the backstory, folks… My children always have a swell of not-so-awesome behavior when school lets out. I think it’s a combination of all the excitement that June brings, adjusting to summer and all that fresh air and exercise, and the change in routine. Anyway, this year was like every other. School let out and I saw an increase in crabbiness and bickering. Here I was, hosting a mindfulness-themed month at our virtual book club, and our family life was not zen.

It occurred to me that we could create a kindness system based on the book. The Bucket Filler books have a website with activities and so I hopped on the computer to take a look. I used these ideas as a jumping off point, and then tailored the system to fit our family’s needs.

Here is what I hoped to accomplish:

1. I wanted to catch the kids being good.
2. I wished to reward them for their kindness in hopes that the behavior would increase.
3. I wanted to avoid competition and have the kids work together to achieve a goal.
4. I wanted it to be a simple, affordable, DIY project.

So here’s what we did:

One morning, I read the book with the kids and suggested that we make our own buckets. My craft-obsessed trio jumped at this opportunity and so we headed off to Michael’s with a coupon. There, we found three small buckets and one larger bucket (three for each child and one for the whole family). We also purchased some clearance gemstones. If you don’t have a craft store nearby, you can find both buckets and gems on Amazon.

After we had our loot, we headed home to decorate our buckets.

While my little artists were occupied, I labeled the family bucket…

… and then I found an old glass jar and filled it with our clearance gems:

Voila! The buckets were ready to go and it was time to explain the rules of the project to the kids.

Rules for the Family Kindness Buckets

First, I explained to my little poppies that the goal of this project was for the entire family to become better bucket fillers, and then I laid some ground rules:

1. Each child must do his or her best each day to be a bucket filler.
2. Mom and Dad would be watching closely, hoping to catch bucket fillers in action.
3. There will be no removal of gems for bucket dipping behavior and therefore it is a waste of energy to tattle.
4. When a bucket filler was “caught”, Mom or Dad would put a gem in that child’s bucket.
5. Children cannot perform bucket filling acts and then ask for a gem.
6. Children can inform parents of another child’s kind acts so that that child can receive a gem.
7. Bonus gems will be provided for kind acts that extend beyond our four walls.
8. At the end of the day, all children will empty their buckets into the Family Kindness Bucket.
9. When the Family Kindness Bucket is full, the entire family will go to the movies together.*

*Folks, that last bit is a BIG DEAL. Remember this post where I talked about our recent success with glow-bowling and hoped that one day we’d make it to a movie theater? We’re ready!!

So, how’s it going?

I’m happy to report that our project is going so well!! I noticed an immediate increase in kindness and helping behavior. And, do you know what? The wonderful thing about being kind and helpful is that it feels good to make others feel good. Everyone is happier around these parts and I believe it is a direct result of my little bucket fillers.

What I like about this system is that the children are rewarded individually for kind acts, but also that they are working toward a common goal. Because of this, they are cheering each other on rather than saying, “I have more gems than yoooooou!!” Also, by not taking away gems, we have seen a decrease in tattling. Instead, we have almost the opposite- the kids will come to me to report kind acts that they witnessed a sibling perform when I was not watching. And, best of all, they are brainstorming ways to help others outside of our family.

Let’s hope it lasts all summer long!

Now, it’s your turn…

Are you struggling with the adjustment to summer? How do you encourage kindness at home? Do you have any tips or ideas to share? Do you love this book as much as we do? I love hearing from you all!

Here’s another fantastic idea that our family adores: