It is a new year, folks, a time of reflection and hope. I know with certainty that 2014 will stand out in my mind years from now. After all, it was my first year as a homeschooler- a sudden and unexpected path for our family. No other year in recent memory has been this filled with change, learning, growth, new beginnings, and new connections.
The other day, as my croupy crew watched Frozen for the eight gazillionth time, I did a little reflecting. I went back and read my first My Little Poppies posts. Folks, I totally got sucked in by those early posts! On the one hand, I feel like it all just happened, but on the other, so much has changed. As I was reading, I realized that I was witnessing my own transformation. It was an evolution of sorts: the evolution of a first year homeschooler.
First, there was the post where I explained how we found ourselves suddenly and unexpectedly homeschooling: Suddenly, Unexpectedly Homeschooling (“You’re gonna WHAT?!”)
If you had told me this two years ago, I would have burst out laughing. I am an educator, a former public school employee, and a public school advocate. I believe in public schools.So… what happened? The short answer is that we were given an outlier.Folks, there was a lot of justifying in that post. It was as if I was fearing a backlash of parental judgment from cyberland, even if it was chock-full of helpful links on giftedness and twice exceptional learners.
Then, there was the post in which I admitted I had absolutely no idea what I was doing with regard to homeschooling: Plan? What Plan?
I am certain that homeschooling will be incredibly challenging, but I have zero doubt in my mind that it is the right choice for Leo. I know I will fly by the seat of my pants sometimes, or maybe even a lot of the time. I’m sure I’ll make mistakes. I’ll second-guess. I’ll probably have days when I wish he was at school. Years from now, I know I’ll look back at even the worst days and smile. Much like motherhood. I feel like that post was pretty spot-on. I still don’t really know what I’m doing, and I do second-guess myself. That said, I have yet to have a day when I wished that Leo could go to school. Honestly. I have moments when I need a break from Leo, but the thought of him actually in the school makes me cringe.
That brings me to the next post in this first year homeschooler’s evolution: Homeschooling Freedom. Man, I just love this post. Whenever I find myself second-guessing, I think of this post. All I need to do is imagine Leo where the public school wanted to place him: a typical first grade classroom, and my anxiety level is instantly reduced. Even if I’m flying by the seat of my pants much of the time, Leo is free to be himself here and he is free to learn joyfully. That in itself is huge.
Knowing that my son was gifted made me brave. It gave me courage to make choices that felt extreme and yet entirely appropriate. These choices set my son free.But we all know that homeschooling isn’t all sunshine and roses. We have a ton of PG, 2E, and full of OE moments over here. They happen multiple times daily. Leo has never been an easy kid to parent, so of course this would carry over into our homeschooling. When I started this silly little blog, I promised to share the good, the bad, and the ugly. I Promised the Ugly! described one of our ugly bumps-in-the-homeschooling -road. It can be extremely challenging for an independent, self-directed, little autodidact to admit that he needs help with a particular concept and to accept that help graciously. We’re working on it, folks!
“WHY DOES THIS STUPID EPGY GUY KEEP GIVING ME THESE STUPID EQUATIONS?!?!”One of the most wonderful surprises of homeschooling has been its impact on our entire family. Our youngest two children, T and Seuss, attend preschool during the week. I am not technically homeschooling them at this point in time; however, Schizz and I have been witnessing some amazing events around here, as I described in A Homeschooling Reflection- We’re Not in Kansas Anymore!
I’m astounded by what can happen when you let go of the traditional school mindset and set your child free. We’ve only been homeschooling for a few months now but the changes around here are remarkable. I’m amazed, on a daily basis, by my little poppies. Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in school anymore.As the school year progressed, I did second-guess myself and wonder if we were doing it right, and if we were doing enough. I discussed these feelings in Homeschool Second-Guessing.
So yes, I might worry. I might second-guess myself. I might continue to check what They Say Leo should be learning But, the bottom line is this: his needs are met, and he is happy. I won’t hold him back from doing what makes him smile, from doing what he loves. I just wish that this could be true for all the kids.My feelings about homeschooling have ebbed and flowed throughout this first year. One day I will feel like I’m totally rocking this homeschooling gig, and the next I’m riddled with doubt and feeling frustrated. No matter what I’m feeling, I keep coming back to one thing: everything is so much better this year than it was last year. What a Difference a Year Makes!
Well, what a difference a year makes. Leo is happy again; his joy of learning has been restored. Put simply: he is free. I know this is the right path for him and cannot imagine him anywhere else. I am so incredibly thankful for all of the support we have received from our family and friends, our village, and also to the new communities that have welcomed my family and our story with open arms.Over time, I’ve been able to break away from my idea of what school “should” look like and realize that learning happens all the time if you just relax and let it. A perfect example of this can be found in my post Our Homeschool Day- Joyful Learning.
Our day was filled with play dough making and play, construction, Christmas music, sewing, and dancing. It certainly did not resemble school in the traditional sense and yet I would argue that it was filled to the brim with joyful learning.The last six weeks have been a time of relaxing into homeschooling. We have, at least for the moment, found a sort of homeschool rhythm. I discussed this in a post that you guys loved called Relaxing into a Homeschool Rhythm.
People often ask me if it is “hard” to homeschool. Those that know Leo in real life, those who know how intense he can be, often ask how I am doing. They wonder if it is difficult to spend so much time with him, and to be “in charge” of his learning. My answer is a resounding no. If anything, life feels easier, lighter. What a difference a year makes!And it does, truly, feel lighter around here lately. In Feeling Lighter, I talk about this experience and trace these new feelings back to our decision to homeschool. You guys really liked this post, too.
We are all doing the best we can with what we have, aren’t we? Aren’t we all just works in progress? Well, so is Leo. So yes, he might be more… more intense, more challenging, more demanding, more persistent, more emotional, more artistic, more energetic, more headstrong, etcetera, than his peers, but it is my belief that with maturity, modeling, and time, these mores are going to serve him well in life. Schizz and I will be there to support him through all of it, and to hell with what anyone else thinks about any of it.Folks, when I look back on the past year, I can’t help but smile. I’m honestly looking forward to 2015. It’s been a wild and unexpected ride so far but it’s one that I would do all over again in a heartbeat!
I’d love to hear from the homeschoolers out there. What was your first year like? Would you do it all again? Do you have a favorite book on homeschooling? I have several listed here, but I love love love anything by Holt, including How Children Learn:
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Knowledge which is acquired under compulsion has no hold on the mind. Therefore do not use compulsion, but let early education be a sort of amusement; you will then be better able to discover the child’s natural bent.
~Plato
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I Love This! I think many of us homeschool mom’shave had ssimilar journeys….doubt, fear, exceptance, and finally letting go. Keep up the great posts 🙂
Thank you, Erin 🙂
Lovely post! I’m where you were at a year ago and I hope a year from now, I can feel as you do. Thank you for all your wonderful and very honest post. 😀
Thanks, Julie. I hope your journey is a great one. Thanks for always reading 🙂
Love your story. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Michelle. I loved yours, too!
What a great journey! Loving this link up!
Thanks, Adrienne!
First year here too, and in the last month I’ve noticed a shift in everyone. In myself, for sure, as I’ve realized that the things I worried most about are falling into place, but in my boys as I see them becoming more independent learners daily. A few months ago, I knew that academically they were doing great, and socially too, but I had this nagging worry that the spark would not come back….the spark of interest and self-led learning that for our family is the most important reason we brought them home. They were compliant but still not quite explorative without guidance. But now, in this last month, I see it all the time. My oldest designing his own board game, my youngest collecting and sorting his nature finds, and I’m so hopeful and thrilled. I think this homeschool thing takes some adjustment, especially for us parents who have had a lifetime of indoctrination. I’m working on a post on this subject for the end of the year as well. Thanks so much for sharing your journey, as a mom of two gifted boys so much resonates.
Hi Jess,
I love hearing about others’ journeys! I agree that it takes a bit for the school to wear off, and for the spark to come back. And what a joy it is when it does come back, as you well know. I’m so happy that you are all easing into the journey and enjoying it. Love that the post resonated with you. Thanks for sharing!
I stumbled on this post at 5:30 this morning - a link from a blog I started following yesterday. I clicked almost every link in this post and have been soaking up post after post of your blog this morning. I’m at work and should be working, but this was so good for my soul. Thank you for sharing your journey! I have an elementary education degree and a gifted kindergartner. I NEVER thought I’d homeschool, but it’s been on my heart for the past month or so. We’re planning on moving to Italy in a year and I’m sure I’ll homeschool then, but something in me says “why wait?” my poor girl is crying out in so many ways for more than what her school can give. Your blog is an encouragement and full of resources as my husband and I make our decision. Thank you!
Hi Rachel,
Thanks so much for reaching out. I’m sorry it’s taken so long to reply. Everyone is sick as dogs over here. I cannot tell you how much it means to me that these posts filled your soul. We all needd to stick together on this unexpected journey. I will tell you that the only regret I have about homeschooling is that I didn’t do it earlier, when I first thought that I should. 🙂 Italy will be amazing for all of you. Please keep me posted on your journey! All the best, Cait
YES! This is our first year as well. With a fifth grader and first grader. I’ve run the gamut of emotions that you have in a very similar way.
Homeschooling is awesome! I only wish I’d done it sooner!
Isn’t it amazing how many people say that, Amanda? So many of us fret over whether or not to homeschool and then we do it and everyone thinks, “Why didn’t I do it sooner?!” 🙂
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