Results of a recent reader survey indicated that folks are interested in hearing more from other homeschoolers, specifically those who are homeschooling tweens and teens. As a result, I am working on a series called Homeschool Voices: A Series of Personal Stories. This is the first post in the series.
Today, I would like to welcome Jen from Practical, By Default and thank her for joining us. Jen has been homeschooling for over ten years. Her site is loaded with practical information about homeschooling, working from home, recipes, and health and fitness. Today, Jen is talking about how homeschooling tweens and teens isn’t as scary as it sounds!
Fear Not: Homeschooling Tweens and Teens
It’s early morning and I am sitting here drinking my cup of coffee. As I watch my children drag out their books, check schedules, and head toward the computer or books for school, I must admit I am a little sad.
I miss the younger ages, when “school” was cuddling on the couch during reading out loud for history, science was racing outside exploring bugs, leaves, nature, and getting dirty, and I was needed.
When homeschooling tweens and teenagers seemed so far away and absolutely terrifying.
However, I made a mistake somewhere along the way and “so far away” turned into “right now.”
Homeschooling teenagers isn’t as bad as I expected it to be. My mind likes to blow molehills to mountains. While there have been many bad days as in every age, learning to enjoy each stage has been a blessing.
For those looking ahead and only seeing dark clouds, doom and gloom, I want to send some sunshine your way. Homeschooling older children isn’t as bad as you fear.
Here are 5 benefits of homeschooling tweens and teens:
1. You can have real conversations.
Now the children are older, they are able to hold onto and focus on one conversation and make the hop to a new one just like adults.
When they were little they asked question after question which was great except when you were trying to answer them you had to be short and to the point, otherwise they were off on the next bright shiny thing that had their attention. For this momma, it was hard to keep up.
I love using these conversations as a way to reinforce what they are learning. I know if they can explain it to me, they understand what they are learning.
2. Student-Led Learning is wonderful.
My children are able to talk about, discuss, and research their own curriculum choices with less guidance from me.
After stating what they are interested in learning, I find 4-5 different choices that suit not only fit our budget but also works with my working schedule, our family values, and their learning styles. At this point, I turn it back over to them. They can either chose something or veto them all and we begin again.
It is wonderful for them to have so much control over what they are learning, taking responsibility, and doing some of the research as well. Now they have a sincere interest in what they are learning and no longer just checking off boxes.
3. They are Self-Motivated and Responsible.
It is nice to see all those years of trying to teach the children to step up and take responsibility for their school work paying off.
For example, I don’t tell them when to start their school day or end it. They have a list of things to complete by the end of the week. When they complete it is up to them. This allows them to learn time management, be responsible, not procrastinate and more!
When they were younger this was all on me. However, as they have gotten older we have slowly added “good habits” and “training” to teach them these skills.
It is nice to see our hard work paying off. (No, this doesn’t mean the training is over, sigh! They are still kids!)
4. They really help around the house!
I have always believed in teaching the children life skills from a young age. Mostly because I hate cleaning and have no desire to do their house when they move out. Oh also because they are going to be adults one day and I want them to know how to cook, clean, pay bills, manage money and their lives. You know… all that fun adult stuff.
When they were little and washing dishes was “fun”you praised them like crazy then quickly re-washed the dishes when they weren’t looking because you actually wanted to eat off them. Those days are over! Yay!
Now when they are helping, it actually helps. You can eat the food they make (most times) and they can teach you new recipes. It is much more fun to hit the cookbooks with someone who won’t inadvertently try to burn the house down.
5. They still need you.
So don’t fret momma, yes they are getting older and wiser. Yes, they have an opinion on EVERYTHING and are happy to tell you. Asked or not.
I’ve made an effort to still include myself in their school day.
My daughter and I are learning ASL and are doing Art together.
My son and I do Language Arts together.
The three of us do history together even though it is a subject they don’t really need me there for.
In the mornings we meet at the table to discuss our plans for the day based on my work schedule, library trips, and other outings.
Sometimes, at the end of the day, they still need you. To listen. To help. To advise. To laugh or to play. And that is a great feeling after all.
Enjoy your little ones.
Enjoy your little ones, enjoy the “clean” dishes, the cuddles and even the dirt. Blink and it turns into laundry mess, dishes in the bedrooms and rolled eyes. It also turns into fun discussions, being led into amazing new adventures and watching all your hard work pay off!
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Don’t be afraid to change…You may lose something good, but you may gain something better.
~ Author unknown
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More posts from Practical, By Default
If you enjoyed this article, be sure to check out some of Jen’s other posts:
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- How to Guard Your Homeschool Time as a Working Homeschool Mom
- How to Make Homeschooling & Working Outside the Home, Work for YOU!
- How to Make Reading Fun For Your Teenager
- How STEAM KIDS Sparked Learning Fun in My Kids
- How You Can Homeschool While Working- Finding Balance
- Jen’s Homeschooling Day in the Life (With 12, and 13 yr old)
- Returning to the Workforce as a Homeschool Mom
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Thank you so much for having me! 🙂
So, SO happy to have you!! 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing this! My two oldest are 11 & 13. We didn’t start our homeschool journey till two years ago so they were already through the “little” stage. (I am a little sad I missed this chance with them. Homeschooling was just not on our radar at that point.) I just adore them and watching their personalities grow. It’s great to hear people with big kids have such positive things to say. Teenagers get such a bad rap when they really are so much fun. And I do think homeschooling older kids can be so intimidating. It’s hard to for people that are not homeschoolers to realize how much kids can do and learn for themselves because that isn’t the precedent being set in public school.
Hi, Jodi!
I love your comment and how much you are relishing these years. I am so thankful for Jen. I get a lot of questions about homeschooling teens. And while I’ve worked with teens in schools, I am not homeschooling teens (yet). In fact, I need a pause button! Jen’s site is a great one for moms of tweens and teens.
Caitlin if you find that pause button let me know! I only have 4-5 years left and there is so much more I want to do!
Hey Jodi, I am so glad you popped over to read. I hope you found lots of amazing resources here from Caitlin. Teens do get a bad rep. Thinking back to my “teen” years I might know why -haha! There are so many blessings and your children are at such an awesome age to be homeschooling. It can be scary but what new thing isn’t? Thanks for visiting!
This is such a beautiful post…and so true! I’ve got a combination of littles and older kids, and I do find myslef wondering from time to time what it’s going to be like when I’m “no longer needed.” Thank you for this glimmer of hope!
<3 Shelly!
Hi Shelly.
I am 30 (cough cough) plus and I still need my mom. So I am pretty sure you will always be needed. It does feel that as they grow up and start using all the skills we gave them it is less and less. No worries, you are still needed to guide, encourage and listen to them. Thanks for visiting!
Yes, homeschooling teens & tweens is not as scary as I thought! I cherish the #juicyconversations we share after their independent studies and read-alouds (yes, we still read-aloud to our older boys!) Jenn, love your reminders that these years are to be enjoyed.
Thanks Amy for sharing your insight as well. I love reading how others are doing homeschooling the higher years. I still read aloud as well. I need to work on the converstations after word.
Great post! I miss the snuggle on the couch homeschooling days too but I certainly enjoy being able to “step back” as well and work on my own projects while my son works on his self directed projects. In the blink of an eye these years will be gone too, so I’m trying to hold on and enjoy what’s here ? Thanks for the positive reassurance ❤️
It goes by much too quickly! <3
Hey Laura, I can’t believed I missed your comment. Sorry! Caitlin has amazing ideas for games and teaching I know you would love. Thanks for visiting!
Aw, thank you Jen <3
Due to certain laws being passed in my state I’m looking into starting homeschooling for my soon to be 5th grader and soon to be 1st grader… I don’t know who my heart breaks for most they both enjoy the brick and mortar school but unless we move out of state this may not be an option for us any longer… my question is- have you heard of anyone starting home schooling starting with 5th grade? Most of my friends started all their kids preK and I’d like to know what the experience was for older kids and how to help him/them adjust and be excited about it.. please help!
Lots of people start homeschooling in middle school, so I think you’ll soon find you aren’t alone. Check out the blogs: Kara S. Anderson, Not Before 7, Learning Well Community, Not the Former Things, and Raising Lifelong Learners. They all have middle schoolers!
I loved seeing this one. I have been mourning the lost years of the excitement of the day ahead with my little ones who were like sponges and loved everything I had to dish out from poetry tea times, lego math, to history picture books and watercolors. However at the same time I have appreciated how independent she has become. Although we are currently working through a little bump in the road as my almost 14 year old daughter has suddenly become extremely annoyed by my voice. 🙂 Expected I guess. Trying to respect this phase while still checking in where she needs it has been a tough one. Will need to go dig and see if you have something reflecting on that perspective over at your site Jen. Thanks!