I am over-the-moon thrilled to welcome my friend, Alicia Hutchinson, to the blog today. Alicia is a homeschool mama of four kiddos, and she has been homeschooling for ten years. She is also the founder of the Learning Well Community, a fantastic resource for homeschool parents. I absolutely adore the Learning Well Community IG feed, especially the weekly takeovers. Today, Alicia is here to chat about homeschooling teenagers!
Dear Teenager, I Have No Idea What I’m Doing
{Guest Post by Alicia Hutchinson, homeschool mom and founder of The Learning Well Community}
How I managed to get from “teen mom” to “mom of teen” status so light-speed quickly is still a mind-boggler to me, but here I am. Mom of a teen. FIFTEEN to be exact, and it doesn’t seem possible.
The thing is, after being a mom for 15 years, you feel like you should know things. New things shouldn’t phase us. Fifteen years should be plenty of time to learn to juggle things more gracefully, make decisions with ease, bounce from one fire to the next and put them all out with an interpretive dance-type style.
Not me.
My first baby was like a dream-although I was so young and tired and any amount of discomfort on my part was like the world caving in. And actually, he still is. He’s sweet and attentive and smart and ohmyword this kid is hilarious.
Image source: Alicia Hutchinson
But there’s often this apologetic mood I feel with him.
What I mean is, he’s my first. And dang did I start momming young. And I’ve always tried my best, but there’s nothing that can change that he’s the first which means he’s my guinea pig child that will teach me all the lessons before the other three reach his age.
Regardless of my shortcomings, he seems to have gracefully accepted me anyway.
My Short List of Teenager Momming Priorities
Because the huge changes in technology means that a phone is no longer a big phone in your cigarette lighter in your car, but rather a small computer in your pocket, I think the approach of parenting a teenager has had to adjust a lot.
The chances of an embarrassing photo of me being passed around the school in .003 seconds was very low, but this is the reality for our kids now. I’ve tried to wrap my mind around what it might be like for a kid in high school these days.
I can’t imagine the pressure.
But regardless of what I might not understand about being a teenager in 2017, there are a few things I do know. And a few things that I really really want my kid to know before he heads out into the world without me two rooms away to offer him support.
1. What feels like a big deal right now, likely won’t soon.
Teenagers (and sometimes myself) have this amazing ability to blow things out of proportion. They (and sometimes me) have this inability to see past what is happening rightthisveryminute. Thus, the moods and all the emotion. But they need to know that it DOES change and the issues they might be facing right now are NOT forever problems.
I want my son to learn to look past the black cloud a few days forward in the forecast and see that yes, the sun is going to shine again.Knowing this about teenagers has made me painfully aware of how I react to certain situations. When an issue might arise, I’ve started walking through the steps OUT LOUD to sort out the issue. I want him to hear me mentally working through the current issue. I’m hoping he will carry this forward and mentally sort through his issues too as they arise.
2. The content of your character is everything.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. knew what he was talking about when he said, “I have a dream that one day my four little children will live in a country where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but the content of their character.”Because who you are on the inside is everything. We all know people who are “known” for something-good and bad. Right? Know that your character is so important when you carry yourself through your day.
3. Sometimes you’ll be amazing. Sometimes you won’t. Both are equally important.
We all have to know how to win gracefully and lose and be wise enough to know why it happened. We learn from our wins. We learn from our losses. So, depending on how you look at it, you actually never lose.
4. Just be nice.
Choosing to homeschool through high school has given my teen a buffer from a lot of what other teens have to deal with day-to-day. But I still hear them when we’re at events, games, Target. Teenagers can be SO mean. I know that a lot of the meanness has to do with personal lack of confidence sometimes, but I want my son to know that there’s never an excuse for being a jerk.Just be nice. You never know when your kindness might change someone’s life.
Image source: Alicia Hutchinson
Just love ‘em
On paper, it looks like I should know what I’m doing. I don’t. But I hold fast to the fact that love covers a multitude of my failings. And if my hormone-driven, emotionally unstable teen can go to bed knowing that his mama loves him something fierce, I win that day.
Because I can’t know what I’m doing all the time in all the situations and all the things. But dang, I love that kid. And as long as he knows that…I think we’re doing just fine.
So, if you’re a mom of a teen that feels a little off-kilter in these uncharted waters-I feel you. And your kid might too. But if you love them and you love them hard, you’re gonna be just fine too.
Image source: Alicia Hutchinson
Hang in there, mamas.
We’re doing better than we think we are.
Love this post?
Check out these other great articles by Alicia:
- The Hardest Parts of Homeschooling (That No One Likes to Talk About)
- Everything You Need to Know to Have an Organized Homeschool
- Game Changing Home Organizational Tools
You can view the current course offerings from Learning Well here:
Alicia was also a recent guest on The Homeschool Sisters Podcast:
This post has been part of the Homeschool Voices series.
You can read the other posts in this series here:
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