In today’s episode, Cait discusses a submission from the Sisters community.
What is the difference between being an “excellent student” and an “excellent learner,” and how do we help children transition from a traditional school setting to a homeschool routine? What do we do if our children put enormous pressure on themselves? How do we help them to follow their interests and not worry about being/doing/achieving “enough?”
Excellent Students vs. Excellent Learners, a question from “Trying To Figure Out How To Turn Off The Pressure Cooker”
Trying To Figure Out How To Turn Off The Pressure Cooker writes:
Hi, Cait!
I homeschool two kids, a second grader and a fifth grader. My concern is for my fifth grader. I’ve homeschooled my second grader since Pre-K. My fifth grader has had a more traditional school experience, with the exception of a brief period of homeschooling during Covid. (And yes, real homeschooling, where I handled the curriculum— not facilitating virtual learning. So this is not our first go-around.)
I started homeschooling her again earlier this year, when the focus of her school shifted to disciplining unruly classmates. She was witnessing fights and not being challenged at all. Despite the challenges, she has always been an excellent student.
Once we started homeschooling this October, I quickly realized that being an excellent student is very different from being an excellent learner. She wants to check off boxes and get things done, not understand them or improve them to make them better. I knew this would take time.
I considered deschooling, and realized she would feel like a ship without a rudder if she didn’t have defined tasks. So I gave her defined tasks. If I gave her too little, she would panic about not having enough to do. If I gave her too much, she would panic about getting it all done.
When we came back after the holidays, I tried something new: I put all of her assignments for the foreseeable future on sheets of paper on the wall, organized by subject. I gave her weekly grids to write down what she did (like a kid’s version of planning from behind). I explained that I had laid out the next few months of work, that I was fine with helping her with it in any order, and she could decide how she wanted to use her time.
I said she should listen to her brain and her body: if she was cruising with math, do more! If it was frustrating her, try science instead. Loving a book? Keep reading! If history was making her eyes go crossed, maybe go do a puzzle or some handstands. I’ve said if there’s something she wants to explore more, just ask and we’ll make it happen.
I’ve included her in Genius Hours at the library, where her only task is to take an hour and learn about something— anything. I’ve told her I will make sure she stays on track, but she’s WELL ahead of most kids in traditional school, so she doesn’t need to worry about “falling behind.”
Still, she is putting IMMENSE pressure on herself. She starts thinking she hasn’t done enough, and then she gets so worked up about it that she really doesn’t get much done for the rest of the day. Again, academically she is doing PLENTY. She has a good mix of in-person classes with friends, online classes, sports activities, etc. So she has time with friends and time away from me. Any other ideas about how to take the pressure off an overachiever, even when I’m not the one applying it? Love your show! I have listened to practically every episode. Thanks for talking about gifted kids and realizing there are struggles there, too. It’s nice when people understand that and don’t think you’re bragging.
The Homeschool Sisters Podcast Sponsored By Night Zookeeper
Night Zookeeper is a super fun, story-based, gamified online creative writing program. My youngest might not be a natural writer, but he loves gameschooling!
This creative writing program is for kids ages 5-12+. The Night Zookeeper online platform includes an engaging storyline and features dynamic games and activities.
My youngest son has loved Night Zookeeper. He doesn’t love to write, but he cannot resist a delicious storyline or a game! Night Zookeeper offers a wealth of stealth learning and captivates the imagination of creative kiddos.
Enjoy a very special offer for listeners of The Homeschool Sisters Podcast – A 7-day free trial and 50% off annual membership.
The Homeschool Sisters Podcast [Episode 135]
Listen to the episode on all major podcast applications: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and more. (We’d also love for you to subscribe and leave a review if you enjoy the podcast!)
You can watch the episode on our YouTube channel:
Or, listen to the episode here:
Want to learn more about Lazy Unit Studies? Get “The Lazy Homeschooler’s Guide to Unit Studies” for 50% off:
To take advantage of this discount, visit the course page and use the code YOUVEGOTTHIS24 at checkout.
Links from Today’s Episode:
- Lazy Unit Studies and Older Kids
- Cait’s Course Offerings
- Jim Arnonsky (author)
- Harvard’s Glass Flowers
Never Board Learning is a safe space for outside-the-box learners and their moms!
One thing I’ve learned in our 9+ (!!!) years of homeschooling is that homeschooling shouldn’t look anything like the public school of your past. I created NBL as a safe space for creative parents and educators to authentically connect, share ideas, and support each other as they raise their wildly and wonderfully unique children and teens.
I’d love for you to step outside of that ol’ proverbial box and join the fun! Right now, download a free copy of our monthly playbook! Join the fun today and have a better tomorrow!
