Hello there, mama.
You look tired. Has this been a day? Trust me, I know those days.
Come here and sit down for a minute. I want to tell you the story about a photo.
On Motherhood
Let me set the scene: a Monday evening in late January of last year. My husband had been working like a dog for over a week. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I had barely seen him for days.
The kids were just getting over their latest in a series of winter illnesses and they were post-sick crabby and tired.
It had been a long week already, and it was only Monday. I was tired from flying solo with sick kids, tired from responding to sick calls in the night, tired from… well… everything. I was deep in the winter doldrums, longing for sunshine and fresh air.
On this night, I was trying to wrangle the kids. It was time for a tub and I needed the kids to go to bed ASAP in order to preserve the last remaining bits of my sanity.
That’s right: I was wishing them to bed. I was counting the minutes left in this hell-of-a-day.
Of course, when my children are over-tired and coming off of an illness, they don’t act tired. Instead, they behave like wild hooligans. And that’s exactly what was happening on this night.
While I walked the upstairs hall, picking up discarded clothing for my next round of laundry, I begged the kids to get in the tub. My daughter obliged but the boys were out of control. They ran, naked, shrieking up and down the hallway.
Meanwhile, I had the familiar throbbing above my left eye that migraine sufferers are all-too-familiar with. Because of this, I didn’t want to raise my voice over their already-too-loud havoc.
Eventually, somehow, I managed to corral their wild little bodies into the bathroom and get them into the bath, which at this point was lukewarm. While my sweet girl scrubbed herself clean, the boys continued their antics- this time, with water. I pleaded with them to wet their heads, to use shampoo, to use a little soap, to calm the heck down. They responded with peals of laughter and abundant splashing.
I was losing the battle, running out of steam, silently berating myself for having been a grouchy mom all weekend. My daughter stepped out of the bath and I handed her a towel. At that moment, my youngest finally poured water over his head but he did so in such a wild manner that the water ended up pouring down my entire left side, soaking my shirt and pant leg. The boys erupted into raucous laughter.
I didn’t have an ounce of energy left. I didn’t yell, I didn’t say anything. Instead, I sat down on a nearby bathroom stool. It was probably the first time I had sat down all day. This was my white flag, folks. This mom was done. Toast. Kaput.
It was at that very moment, as I sat on that stool and watched the puddles on my bathroom floor grow in size, that my daughter approached with my iPhone in her hand. “Mum,” she said, “You look beautiful today. Can I take your picture?” My sweet girl is the kindest little soul. I smiled for her photo because how could I not, and plus, as I said, I was too tired to budge. She took this photo:
I love this photo. I think it captures the essence of motherhood.
When I look into that mother’s eyes, I see a mom who is tired. I can tell she has a headache – I can see it in her eyes. But I see something else, too. I see a genuine smile, a look of love and of gratitude directed toward a very sweet girl. I see a look of understanding that, even on the days when we feel that we are failing miserably, our children see past it and love us despite it all.
Even on our worst days, we are creating something very special as we help these little people navigate their way through this crazy world. Motherhood is a sacred, miraculous job. It is messy. And loud. And utterly, completely, mind-numbingly exhausting. But, it is a short season and we must remember that there is beauty in the mundane. There is joy in the ordinary. There is happiness in the chaos. My daughter was wise enough to recognize it that night and capture it forever, and for that I am grateful. Children are our wisest teachers.
So, the next time you find yourself sitting on a potty stool with wet pants, a migraine, a burgeoning bad mood, wild children, and a mess to clean, know this: even on your worst parenting days, being a mother is a beautiful gift and a very short season.
Follow Cait Fitz @ My Little Poppies’s board Parenting on Pinterest.
I love this!!! I remember thinking your picture was so perfect when I liked your FB page. Now I know why…
Love,
Shawna
Thank you, Shawna!
Pretty pic 🙂 It’s always interesting to hear the story behind a picture.
I love knowing the real story behind the picture!
🙂
Awww…what a beautiful story! You ARE a beautiful mom – inside and out! 😀
Aw, thanks Julie! Right back at ya!
Hello from a fellow psychologist homeschooler! I’m a clinical psychologist, however. I was so touched by your daughter’s picture of you. I recently watched an old video of myself while I was giving my first baby a bath. I still worked three days a week back then. My husband came into the bathroom videotaping me and I said, “I’m a mess!” My older and wiser self thought, “You’re beautiful! And you’re an amazing mom.” That’s true of you, too. God bless!
I shared this post!
Hi Melanie! Thank you so much for reading and for your sweet comment. We all need to go a little easier on ourselves! 🙂
Love this post… You’re so right: motherhood is messy and loud, but it is miraculous!
Thanks so much, Emily!
Beautifully written – truly captures what we all go through. Although my kids are now in college, I still vividly remember the fun/crazy/exasperating times. And what a beautiful photo amidst the chaos.
Gail
Thanks, Gail!
Oh Cait, this is beautiful. Just beautiful. We have all been in that place of “done.” I always feel so guilty for reaching that point. I dont give myself as much patience as I give to everyone else. I need to work on that.
Thank you, Erin! 🙂
OK – that’s beautiful and man oh man did I ever pick the right day to read it…….lol
I’m glad it found you! <3
Lovely story to which I can certainly relate. I thought you had a lovely profile pic and wondered how you got it. My attempts at selfies are pretty sad, 🙂 Anyway, this is sweet!
Thank you so much, Amber!
As a photographer myself, I see your true beauty in your eyes. The soul’s message tends to speak thru the eyes they say.. Glad you shared the wonderful story of a mother’s day where most of us have lived and would still wanna relive just an hour of it ( or maybe not..LOL) when our kids are no longer living at home with us!
Love your honesty and sense of humor.. Thanks for being a beautiful inspiration in my first weeks of a homeschooling wild life:)
Thank you so much, Safaa! <3 You've got this!
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This is so sweet and speaks so much truth about motherhood. And the way she can just drown out those boys and maintain her own peace of mind, then try to draw you into that peace. Beautiful.