Do you have a little kid with big worries? As a school psychologist turned [unexpected] homeschool mom, I want you to know that you are not alone. Many children struggle with worry. Today, I am sharing how to make your own worry basket.
A word on navigating anxiety and worry amid COVID-19 concerns:
We are living through history right now. Everyone is feeling at least a little on edge, as we are navigating uncertain waters. Children are little sponges and they will pick up on your anxiety. If you are feeling a bit lost right now, here are some resources to help:
- How to Create a Super Simple Homeschool Routine –
Keep things simple right now. Strict schedules can cause stress and tears. Children benefit from simple, predictable routines.Click the link above to grab your own 8×11 PDF copy. Hang on your fridge and breathe a sigh of relief!
- 10 Super Easy At-Home Learning Ideas for Parents –
It can be tough to make decisions when you’re stressed out. Here are some super simple, affordable, at-home learning ideas for families. - Stuck at Home? These Booklists Will Make You Smile! –
Books can be therapeutic! They provide a much-needed escape during times of uncertainty. - Gameschool Challenges Can Transform Your Home!–
Play can lighten the mood, boost connection, and fuel learning. In light of the current COVID-19 situation, I have created a 30-day #GameschoolChallenge to keep us all busy and learning. If you are just getting started with gameschooling, click here to see what you need – you don’t need much! - How to Make Space for Mental Health in Your Homeschool –
Tips and tricks for making space for mental health daily. A must-do list you can manage, and one that will make you feel better! - Worry is Like a Car Alarm: Homeschooling Worriers | The Homeschool Sisters Podcast –
Cait and Kara share strategies and tips from the trenches. - Social Distancing: A BONUS EPISODE | The Homeschool Sisters Podcast –
Join the sisters as they chat about social distancing, homeschooling, and more in the wake of COVID-19. - 75+ Entertaining and Educational Activities for When You’re Stuck Indoors | Learn in Color
More ideas for navigating the current COVID-19 situation…
The book in the photo below is fantastic. I love Dawn Huebner’s books and this one is no exception. It’s filled with helpful resources and will serve as a springboard for important conversations. (I’ve linked more of my favorites at the end of this post, so keep reading!)
This week, we listened to this episode of the Brains On! podcast. It helped my children to understand COVID-19 and the steps they can take to protect themselves and others in our community. (You know your kids best so pre-listen to see if it will work for you. Just sharing because it helped us.)
We also had a handwashing 101 exercise. It’s something I remember from when I worked at a daycare. I put some lotion on each kiddo’s hands, had them rub it in, and then I sprinkled glitter all over the front and back of their hands and had them rub that in. Then, they tried to wash it off. It was the best handwashing we’ve had in years, you guys!
Often the worst part of anxiety is feeling as if you lack control. It can help immensely to take action in your small patch of the globe. This week, we are making a meal for a local shelter, donating to the food pantry, and buying a gift card for our favorite restaurant (we won’t be eating there this week amid concerns, but we know small businesses are going to be hurting). If you have other ideas, please share them in the comments. We need to be the helpers in times like this! (Looking for ideas? I’ve linked helpful articles at the end of this post!)
Before I talk about how to make your own worry basket, I want to share some tips and tricks for navigating worry at home…
10 Things Your Little Worrier Needs to Know
One of my kiddos is a world-class worrier. The worries housed in his brain have always been far too big for his sweet little body. I wish I could whisk them away and erase them from his mind forevermore. He has conquered many fears over the years and, thankfully, we’ve learned that the worries always pass with a little TLC, creativity, and heaps of patience.
Do you have a little kid with big worries? You are not alone!
Mothering a worrier can be exhausting. Believe me, I understand. When you are in the midst of a worry surge, it feels like all of your energy is spent fighting the battle. And then, suddenly, the fog clears… until the next time.
I have learned to think of these worry swells as teachable moments. After all, we all experience worry from time to time. Sure, some of us experience it more severely, and more frequently, but no one is immune to worry. It is a part of life.
Learning to manage difficult emotions is an important life skill. The sooner your child learns effective coping and calming strategies, the better. These coping skills will serve your child well in life.
While I certainly don’t claim to have all the answers, I am happy to share strategies that have worked for this school-psychologist-and-world-class-worrier-mom.
1. Worry is normal.
Worry serves an important purpose: protection. It plays a key role in the fight-or-flight response and keeps us safe. Every single person on this planet has worries. Every. Single. Person. Worry is a normal part of the human experience.
2. Worry is temporary.
It certainly doesn’t feel temporary when you are in the thick of it, but worry is normal. When it spikes, it is important to remember that worry ebbs and flows. This brings me to…
3. Worry can be managed, but it takes practice and patience.
There are steps you can take to manage anxiety more effectively. You need to determine the coping and calming strategies that work best for you.
In our home, we call this our Worry Toolbox. I feel better if I do yoga, go for a run, listen to music, or have some time alone with a delicious book. You might feel better when you go out with friends, go for a swim, or meditate. Each person has a unique Worry Toolbox! Helping your child build his Worry Toolbox will not only help this time, but also the next time that worry monster rears its ugly head!
Great strategies include:
- guided relaxation and imagery
- meditation
- yoga
- deep breathing
- progressive muscle relaxation
- distraction
- humor
- writing
- and drawing
Keep a notepad beside your child’s bed so that he or she can do what I call a “brain dump” and either write about or draw the worries. This can clear the mind and allow for sleep.
Stress is a part of life so it’s best to learn to manage it early. Coping skills are among the most important of life skills!
4. Talking about worry is super-duper important.
When you don’t talk about your worry, when you avoid it, you give the worry more power. It is important for your child to face the worries and work to overcome them, with support from you. Conquering worries can build a feeling of success and fosters resiliency. Talking about your worry is an important step toward winning the battle. Sometimes, worry can be difficult to talk about. In these cases, set up a date later to chat. Sometimes it can be easier to talk when you are moving, playing a game, or riding in the car. It doesn’t matter where you talk about it, just make sure you do it!
5. Your worry does not define you.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. You have oodles of strengths! When the worry feels like it is overshadowing you, remember all of your gifts.
6. Being sensitive is a superpower.
Sensitivity is a superpower. You care deeply for others and the world around you in a way that others do not. Your sensitivity allows you to be in-tune with the feelings of those around you and to treat others carefully. Sensitive souls make great friends and kindness attract kindness.
7. You have an amazing brain!
In our family, we have had great success through learning a little neuroscience. Did you know that if your amygdala is too sensitive, you can actually work to change it? You can exercise your brain just as you exercise your body!
8. Asking for help is incredibly brave.
Sometimes, the worry is just too much. In these cases, it is brave to ask for help. If your child’s worry is significantly impairing his or her daily functioning, or if there is a history of anxiety disorders in your family, it’s important to seek help. The sooner, the better. Believe me, your child will be so relieved to have another supportive adult in his or her corner, cheering for those Worry Wins. Many practitioners are conducting virtual therapy right now so don’t be afraid to reach out and call a therapist for help!
9. You have conquered worry before and you can do it again.
Whenever my son is struggling with a swell of worry, I remind him of all the worries he’s conquered in his eight years on this planet. The list is a long one. Reminding him of these successes helps him to remember that he’s done this before. And not only has he done it before, he’s done it a gazillion times! Listing all his past Worry Wins never fails to elicit a smile, even if he’s deep in the throes.
I’ll often make a Worry Wins list to hang in his bedroom, or on the bathroom mirror, to remind him daily that he’s an expert at battling worries. This is one of our family’s favorite strategies.
10. A worry basket can help you manage those worries.
And I saved the best for last. When my son was younger, our Worry Basket was GOLD. It was such an important resource in our home. The Worry Basket helped us learn which strategies worked best for our son. In addition, keeping the Worry Basket in his bedroom provided a safe space for him when worries swelled. Moreover, it taught him how to recognize, manage, and alleviate swells of anxiety.
I wish I had a better photo of our Worry Basket back then, but this cruddy one will have to do:
How to Make a Worry Basket
I have linked all of the following resources in my Amazon Storefront. You can visit it here.
What to include in your Worry Basket
Here are some ideas for items to put in your child’s Worry Basket:
I have linked the above resources in my Amazon Storefront. You can visit it here.
Add mindfulness to your Worry Basket
Incorporating mindfulness techniques into our homeschool routine has been extremely beneficial, not just for my little worrier, but for all of us. Here are two of my favorites:
- Calm app (we especially love the Sleep Stories!)
- Headspace app
- MindUP Curriculum
- Music heals! Each of my kiddos has a discman (yes, they still exist!) and they can listen to audiobooks or music.
- Reading. It almost seems too simple, but reading is a great escape. If your child is having trouble falling asleep, give her a booklight and some good books.
Books to add to your Worry Basket
As a school psychologist, I am a huge fan of bibliotherapy. As such, I have oodles of books on worry and mindfulness. Tuck a couple into your Worry Basket. Children gain so much through reading about pertinent topics.
Here are some worry-related books that we have in our library:
- Calm-Down Time by Elizabeth Verdick
- David and the Worry Beast: Helping Children Cope with Anxiety by Anne Marie Guanci
- Dharma Delight: A Visionary Post Pop Comic Guide to Buddhism and Zen by Musho Rodney Alan Greenblat
- Don’t Feed the Worry Bug (A Children’s Book About Worry) by Andi Green
- From Worrier to Warrior: A Guide to Conquering Your Fears by Daniel B. Peters
- Is a Worry Worrying You? by Ferida Wollf
- What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid’s Guide To Overcoming Anxiety by Dawn Huebner
- Why Does Izzy Cover Her Ears? Dealing with Sensory Overload by Jennifer Veenendaal
- A Pebble for Your Pocket by Thich Nhat Hanh
- Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids by Carol McCloud
- Kindness: A Treasury of Buddhist Wisdom for Children and Parents by Sarah Conover
- Peaceful Piggy Meditation by Kerry Lee Maclean
- Peaceful Piggy Yoga by Kerry Lee Maclean
- Planting Seeds: Practicing Mindfulness with Children by Thich Nhat Hanh
- You Are a Lion! And Other Fun Yoga Poses by Tae-Eun You
- The Buddha’s Apprentice at Bedtime: Tales of Compassion and Kindness for You to Read with Your Child – to Delight and Inspire by Dharmachari Nagaraja
I have linked all of the above resources in my Amazon Storefront. You can visit it here.
Single-player games can be a great addition to your Worry Basket
More ideas for your Worry Basket
- How to Make Your Own Playdough – I usually make this at Christmas, but I have also used it as a soothing activity with a few drops of lavender essential oil.
- How to Make Bird Cookies: A Super Simple Homeschool Activity – Make these (great sensory experience!) and then hang the feeders outside a window in a favorite room. Nature soothes the soul.
- GIANT Bubbles for GIANT Smiles – This is for outside, but these bubbles are GOLD. You can’t help but smile.
Gratitude can help, too!
Helping others can help little worriers feel empowered
- 10+ Children’s Books to Inspire Kindness
- 10 Ways to Foster Emotional Intelligence at Home
- Family Kindness Project {Have You Filled A Bucket Today?}
- Big-Hearted and Brilliant: Service Ideas That Flex Empathy Muscles and Expand Young Minds
- Four Life Lessons to Help Your Big-Hearted Idealist Avoid Burnout
Additional resources for managing worry at home
- Yoga for Children: Tips and Resources
- Calm Kids Down with Doodle Diaries
- Best Laid Plans: When Anxiety Throws You For a Loop
- Do You Know What is in Your Worry Toolbox?
- When it Feels Like Worry is Winning
- Make Your Own Worry Dolls
- Using Books to Overcome Anxiety
- Anxiety and Sensitive Kids
- The Anxiety Toolkit from Raising Lifelong Learners
Caite — These are great suggestions, and we have a similar “worry basket” at our home. 🙂
Thanks, Colleen!! 🙂
These are awesome! My 10 yr old daughter deals with a lot of anxiety. We do some of these things already but we may just have to create a worry basket!
Thanks for the great list.
I hope it works for you!!
What a great list. So many wonderful suggestions that use all the senses – sight, sound, touch, smell – and help one’s child learn to comfort himself. Great ideas!
Thanks, Gail!
What wonderful ideas! Breathing exercises and reading are our go to tactics for getting to sleep but when she was younger and worried about EVERYTHING these ideas would’ve been a lifesaver!!
Life got so much easier over here when reading happened 🙂
Oh wow, so many great ideas and resources! The car key idea is just phenomenal! Thanks for all your brilliant ideas, Cait!
Schizz thought I was crazy to put the key thing in there. I know with certain kids it would be asking for trouble but it helped us all sleep over here 🙂 Thanks for reading, Celi!
My goodness, Caitie. This is a fabulous list. I will absolutely refer parents to your blog and this post. Worrying is so common among our little gifted sweeties. And the grownups, too! Thank you!
Thank you so much, Paula! I loved your post, too 🙂
I also have a first-class worrier daughter. (She gets it naturally.) We have also used many of the same techniques. You definitely have to be creative to help them overcome their fears. Our most helpful technique at the moment is suggesting something fun and creative to think about while falling asleep.
I love the fun and creative suggestion! Thank you, Crystal!
Hello, I get where the idea comes from, but I’d be a little concerned that it would lead my children to look for solutions outside of themselves. I try to help them understand that external things can’t make us calm or angry or happy or sad. So this would go against that teaching for me.
Hi Jaime,
Thanks so much for your feedback. Our worry basket is an “in addition to” sort of thing. We are huge advocates for mindfulness and finding out what works for each individual person. That said, I do believe that some external measures do assist with finding calm. It depends on the person, though. To each his own! Thanks for reading 🙂
I think your site is lovely! x
Thanks, Jaime!
[…] for a little while. One of our most recent parenting successes has been the implementation of a Worry Basket for him. Leo’s Worry Basket is located in his calm down space and it is full of objects, […]
[…] like to go there for a bit. One of our latest parenting successes has been the implementation of a worry basket for him. The worry basket can be found in his calm down space and it contains objects, books, and […]
[…] There are steps you can take to manage worry more effectively. You need to determine the coping and calming strategies that work best for you. […]
[…] Make Your Own Worry Basket ~ Caitlin Fitzpatrick Curley, My Little Poppies […]
Have you read the book Silly Billy by Anthony Browne? My 7yo worrier really connected with this book about a boy who has trouble sleeping until he makes worry dolls. We made worry dolls together after reading the book.
No, but I’m adding it to my list. Thank you, Jess!
[…] There are steps you can take to manage worry more effectively. You need to determine the coping and calming strategies that work best for you. […]
[…] Make Your Own Worry Basket ~ Caitlin Fitzpatrick Curley, My Little Poppies […]
Dear Caitlin-Thank you SO much for this post and resources. I have been reading your blog for some time through Jamie’s, but just now making the connection about anxiety in our own child. I just shared this in the FB group Parenting Kids with Anxiety and OCD. Xo
I am SO happy to hear it helped you, Laura!