When I heard that this month’s Hoagies’ Gifted Education Page blog hop was about child activists, I immediately thought of Sarah Aaland, Director of Doing Good Together’s Big-Hearted Families™ Program. Sarah has shared family service ideas on My Little Poppies before, and today she is back to talk about how to support the big-hearted idealists in our lives, and how to protect them from burnout. I want to thank Sarah for sharing her story here, it is such a good one!

Four Life Lessons to Help Your Big-Hearted Idealist Avoid Burnout

I recently visited My Little Poppies with a post about raising big-hearted and brilliant kids where I mentioned – briefly – my oldest child. My poppy. The girl that led me to discover Cait’s helpful insights here.

My daughter’s big-hearted story is rooted in her love of animals. She’s always been an enthusiastic furball fanatic, like so many other kids. Her father and I were proud to watch her transform that enthusiasm into advocacy for the creatures she loved.

I do take a small amount of credit for her idealism. My work is the engine behind the Big-Hearted Families program of Doing Good Together™, where we empower families to weave service projects and acts of kindness throughout their everyday lives.

We help parents raise idealists.

Of course, my poppy took to this mission with vigor and a perseverance all her own, as spirited children often do.

She recently transformed a school project – the assignment was to explore a personal interest – into a pet treat bake sale for the Animal Humane Society. She spent weeks putting together a marketing campaign, creating and field-testing cat and dog treats. She meticulously packaged and tracked sales as the orders came in.

When she tallied the final total of her sales and donations, she could not have been more excited about the impact she was going to have on her cause.

Through parenting this young poppy, and through my work with Doing Good Together, I’ve seen how important it is to acknowledge and honor the idealistic spark in your child.

The benefits are substantial. If we offer our children opportunities to dig deeper and creatively make a difference on an issue they are passionate about, we give them:

• an understanding of themselves as helpful and caring people.
• something bigger than themselves to focus on when social lives at school can be challenging.
• a place to apply their gifts and interests in a practical, immediately useful way.

But there is a darker side to fanning the flames for young idealists.

After the excitement of the fundraiser, my daughter began to read more deeply about the work of the Animal Humane Society (AHS), meaning she learned about the plight of animals around the world. She soon discovered how overwhelmingly big her cause really was.

Meanwhile, I worried.

I worried enough to unsubscribe her from AHS newsletters, hoping to shield her from the Chinese dog food trade and puppy mills and poaching.

But my poppy surreptitiously re-subscribed. Every. Time. She signed petitions. She signed up for an advocates class.

Still, I worried.

What about the darker side of giving her heart to this passion? What about knowing too much?

Was she on track to be burned out in a few years, by the ripe old age of 15? Would she transform into a jaded, apathetic curmudgeon?

It was clear there was no way to shut off her motivation to right the wrongs she was discovering, even in the face of heartache. Even if I could, I wouldn’t want to close her open heart.

My job, then, is to give her the tools she needs to avoid burnout. Fortunately, these tools are also life lessons every child – and parent too – needs in order to thrive.

1. Teach them resilience.

We all have to learn to take failure in stride, but advocates of a heartfelt cause must work on this more than most.

• Check out DGT’s recent newsletter, Embracing Failure. It’s full of helpful tips and conversation starters.
• Give them space to fail. Resist the urge to make life too easy for your child. Give them the room to solve their own problems and comfort them when things don’t work out. Learning to bounce back from disappointment is essential to life as an idealist.
• Take the long view. Help your child study the history of their cause. Knowing how much the world has changed because of impassioned idealists – and in spite of setbacks – can help put immediate challenges into perspective.