A few years ago, we thought our dog was dying.

I had just returned home from school pick-ups. As we were entering the basement from the garage, we noticed the door was obstructed… by our dog. Our beloved furry Finnegan was lying unresponsive on the cellar floor.

I had to nonchalantly escort the children over the dog, acting like it was all no big deal.

Once they were upstairs and distracted, I ran back down to assess. He was breathing and soon came to, disoriented and frantic.

This is the face of someone who walked through a screen door and chewed a bubble wand. He’s getting daffy in his old age!

A photo posted by MyLittlePoppies (@my_little_poppies) on Mar 16, 2016 at 2:41pm PDT

Then, a few nights later, my husband and I witnessed the dog having a grand mal seizure.

And thus began a spiral of increasingly frequent and violent seizures, many of which the children witnessed, lots of vet visits, expensive testing, and medication trials.

All the while, I was peppered with questions from anxious, stressed, and sad kids.

I was also anxious, stressed, and sad. I was constantly on alert for the next grand mal.

I really thought we were going to lose him, and I wanted to be prepared for it.

So I did what I always do when I don’t know quite what to do: I collected a stack of books. I read them and kept them handy should disaster strike.

Eventually, the dog improved…

… but our crotchety ol’ cat, who we thought would live forever to torture us all became very sick and died suddenly.

I was so thankful I had these books.

Books to help children understand loss and grief

The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn

In this classic children’s story, Chester the Racoon does not want to go to school because it means leaving his mother. His mom’s solution? She kisses his hand and he is able to carry that kiss with him all day long.

While not about grief, this story is the perfect way to explain how loved ones are always in our heart even when they are not by our side. Plus, it lays a foundation for the next book.

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Chester Racoon and the Acorn Full of Memories by Audrey Penn

Chester the Racoon has lost his friend, Skiddel Squirrel, and he is sad. Chester’s mom advises all of the friends to meet together to share memories of Skiddel. Chester and friends meet at the pond and celebrate the life of their friend. This is the perfect book to read to your children before attending a funeral or memorial service.

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The Invisible String by Patrice Karst

I love this book! Like The Kissing Hand, The Invisible String is not about a loss but about connection. In the book, Jeremy and Liza’s mom explains that everyone carries with them an invisible string that is connected to all of his or her loved ones. It is a touching story that shows children we are never truly alone.

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The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages by Leo Buscaglia

This simple story follows Freddie, a maple leaf, throughout his life cycle. It provides a wonderful framework for explaining the life cycle, phases of life, and death in a way that children will grasp.

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Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children by Bryan Mellonie

Lifetimes shows children that everything has a lifetime. Every animal, every plant, every person has both a beginning and an end. Each lifetime is unique. This book is more about life than about death, but it is helpful in explaining difficult concepts to young children.

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When a Pet Dies by Fred Rogers

Who doesn’t adore Mister Rogers? This book is everything you would expect it to be: sweet, compassionate, thoughtful. It is a wonderful resource for parents.

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Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant

If you are a dog lover, you need this book. Written by multiple award-winning and best-selling author and illustrator, Cynthia Rylant, Dog Heaven convinces us that all dogs do, indeed, go to Heaven. With beautiful illustrations, Rylant takes us on a journey through Dog Heaven. It is the perfect book for both young and old. See if you can read it without crying!

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Applesauce Weather by Helen Frost

This is a sweet story, told in prose, that chronicles a family’s grief after the loss of their aunt. This is the family’s first year making applesauce without their aunt. It sounds terribly sad, but it’s really beautiful. The characters take turns sharing their story and so it’s a great way to talk about perspective and feelings and loss… in a way that isn’t overwhelming. The kids and I finished it today and I must say we really enjoyed it.

When Mom is Sad: Helping Children Understand Loss and Grief

Sometimes I start writing a post and then get side-tracked. The skeleton of that post remains in my drafts for months and months. This was one of those drafts. The aforementioned books helped me to prepare for the loss of a pet. They helped my children as they navigated life without our cat. As the owner of an aging dog, I am glad that we have these books in our library. I started this post over a year ago because I knew there are other families who could benefit from these books. Alas, I got sidetracked…

… until now.

We lost someone last week, a kind, intelligent, laugh-out-loud funny, amazing someone. Someone who was a gigantic part of my childhood. Someone with whom I share countless memories. Someone whom I love and miss with all my heart.

This week, I am once again thankful that we have these books. Not because my children are sad, but because I am. 

And so, together, we’ve been reading these books and talking about emotions and I’ve been sharing oodles of funny stories and happy memories.

There have been a lot of hugs and extra kitchen dancing because these are the things help us when we are feeling down.

Oh, and these.

Resources to help with BIG emotions

We all have ups and downs, good days and BAD days. Through it all, we experience a wide array of emotions. Here are a few posts to help you on those BIG emotion days:

• Calm Kids Down with Doodle Diaries – Doodling is good for the soul. I always feel happier, calmer, lighter after doodling for a while.
• The Space Between– Whenever life gets too hectic, I make sure we have enough space between all the things.
• Make Your Own Worry Basket – The resources contained in this post are applicable to any emotion, not just worries.
• 7 Tips to Help Children Identify Feelings {Plus a DIY Feelings Chart} – Understanding, expressing, and appropriately managing emotions is a life skill!
• A Mindful Month of Books – These books are good for your soul!
• Yoga for Children: Tips and Resources – Whenever my children are struggling, we up our yoga and everyone feels better.
• Inside Out– This movie is an unbelievable resource for talking about emotions. A must-have for your family’s movie collection.
• Self-Care– Do not forget to take care of yourself when you are running on empty. This is so important, especially for moms!

Additional titles to help with this difficult topic

Always and Forever by Alan Durant

Ida, Always by Caron Levis

I’ll Always Love You by Hans Wilhelm

I’ll Miss You, Mister Hooper by Sesame Street

Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs by Tomie dePaola

Now, it’s your turn. Tell me: What are your go-to grief and loss resources? What helps you to feel better when you’re down in the dumps? Share here.

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Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you.
When you get where you’re going
Don’t forget turn back around.
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind.

~ Lori McKenna

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