Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! We have so much to be thankful for this year, including you guys! This time last year, I was up to my eyeballs in reading material, trying to figure out how to get Leo’s needs met. This year, the only worry we have is whether we will be healthy enough to consume mass quantities of pumpkin pie tomorrow. What a difference a year makes!
I’m always thankful for my kids, especially when they are funny. Today, I’ll share some laughs with you. In no particular order, here are some funny things my little poppies have said over the years:
- T, did you know drinking tub water is pretty gross? It has dirt. And I peed in here by mistake.
- Mumma, do you know I’ve been practicing how to draw snails for many, many years?
- Mumma, can you show me the sign for ‘rock out’? I want baby T to dance with me but she doesn’t understand.
- T, I think mom is migrating today. That means she has a really, really bad headache.
- Mumma, do you want to know what I’ve been wondering about? How do animals itch their bums?
- T, did you just toot? Or was that a musket in the distance?
- Why is T drooling like a komodo dragon?
- Do reindeer poop candy canes?
- It smells like a cow’s bum in here!
- I was teaching T to say ‘leprechaun’ but she said ‘scorpion’ by mistake. Good try, T, good try.
- T, did you know that God made everything? He made Papa and frogs and water buffalo.
- Mum, can you tell T that horses don’t growl? She is very confused.
- Mumma, I have a very important question for you. What do frogs do when they get mad at you?
- Mumma, I don’t want a FRUIT serving, I want a FOOD serving and the food can be CHEESE.
- Mumma! Come here! I’m standing under the tick-tack-toe so that means you have to come smooch me!
- If there was a restaurant that served triple-decker hummus sandwiches, I would probably want to eat there all the time.
- Seuss, you are really cute but you have goofy looking baby nipples.
- Why do elves have pointy ears like Great Danes? Maybe we should look that up on the internet later.
- Mumma, can you wipe T’s boogie holes? She keeps trying to smooch me and it’s a little bit gross.
- When I grow up, I’m going to be a SPOOKY GHOST AND HAUNT YOUR ATTIC!
- Mumma, I wasn’t bouncing on the couch. I was just rocking out to cool Christmas tunes!
- Be sure to stay away from clowns at the parade, Leo. They will bite you.
- Can bunnies go up your nose?
- Mumma, when you said “Jesus Christ!” were you praying about my bad behavior?
- I’ll pee on the potty when I grow a penis.
- Mumma, can you get T her own pile of crackers? When she shares with me she gets them all wet and it’s a little bit gross.
- Do roosters shoot eggs out of their bums?
- No, T. Roosters are BOYS. I bet there is a penis somewhere under all the feathers.
- Mumma, do people walk in Heaven? I’m just wondering if I’ll need my shoes up there.
- Mumma, I have some not-so-good news for you. I think T taught Seuss how to say “bum”
- Mumma, I’m going to hug you for the rest of your life!!!
- Do scarecrows scare away the peacocks also?
- Hey, T! Can I have your sweet potatoes and peas? You can have ALL of my chicken. That’s a good deal.
- My brain is really itchy!
- Is Santa resting right now? Sitting up on his pole?
- Mumma, could you please focus on making me a snack?
- My blankets were not working for me last night. They were grumpy.
- Smooth the krinkles from my bed!
- Why are my feet always SO SWEATY?!?!
- Mum, do you think Jesus knows I turned four?
- Do werewolves poop, Mumma?
- I don’t want Seuss to be my friend anymore. He likes me waaaaaay too much.
- I’m not in the mood to talk to sheep today.
- Why are pepperonis so, so good but so, so spicy?
- I’m not excited about school tomorrow. I’m going to tell Mrs. H— that she can’t make me pee and she can’t make me eat apple skins.
- No, T. I don’t think that is yak poop. I think it’s actually just a pile of beans.
- In the name of the Father, the Son, and the hummus sandwich. Hayman.
- I’m going to be hairy like Daddy when I grow up. Do you wanna know why? Because I eat all my crusts.
- Mumma, do you know why I started wearing my undies backward again?
- T, we have a parade today because of Paul. Paul told the red guys, “Hey! You can’t be the boss of us!” and then he ran away on his horse and then they all shot fireworks out of cannons instead of cannonballs and it was beautiful.
- Mom, I always have a question in my mind that no one can answer. Want to hear it? How did the first person get in the world?
- I have two questions that have been bothering me. First, are horses capable of running upstairs? And, also, I read that it would take five strong men to lift a T-Rex’s leg. Do you really think that’s accurate?
- Mumma, do you know that sometimes it feels good for me to whine? Did you know I’m not in a very good mood today?
- Mumma, I think tomorrow will be the day that I don’t whine at all. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be that day.
Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.
~ A. A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh